I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
