Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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