We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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