I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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