Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
