hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
