So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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