so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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