Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
