How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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