At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
