how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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