"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize