when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
