You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
