.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
