My first STD was from a foam party
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Enjoy the penises
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
