Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?

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(716): View more from New York

Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend

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(757): View more from Virginia

It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?

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(678): View more from Georgia

So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.

(1-740): View more from Ohio

How does this kind of shit happen to you?!

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(812): View more from Indiana

CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL

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(609): View more from New Jersey

DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.

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