her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
