Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
