Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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