garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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