Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
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