so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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