It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
