What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
