whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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