the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
