So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
