I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize