My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
