Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
