The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
