I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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