it wasn't lemon gatorade
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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