If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
