I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
