you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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