just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
