The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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