Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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