My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
