I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
