At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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