At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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