The maid of honor just puked.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize