Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
