I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
