so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
