I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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