Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
