it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
