Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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