Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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