There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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