So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
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