i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
