Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
