Umm I'm too high to move.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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