Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
