im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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