I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
