dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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