Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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