this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
