I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
