Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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