you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
