drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
