My first STD was from a foam party
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
