and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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