you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
