The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
