So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
