there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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