it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
