Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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