Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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