I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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