He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It's just like the Real World with babies
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
