didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
