I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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