so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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