i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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