he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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