So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize